50. Oh it's 2014 already?

Happy new year! it's the year 2014!

Time to make new mistakes! to meet new obstacles!

So that I can gain more experience! 

nahhh.. not really. 

Let's see, 2013 was really a roller-coaster 

I had so many ups and downs (mostly downs) but thankfully I learned from it

I had happy moments too. The one who really made me feel happy, I am really thankful for it even though we don't talk any more due to the issue we have. 

Memories and feelings with you, I'll remember it.

But that's in the past, no point trying to patch it up. I've made no regrets.

Best highlights in 2013?

1. Doing things and not caring about the consequences. 

2. Met someone special to me but sadly it didn't work out

3. Getting in touch with my "sadistic" side

4. Found that everyone (including me) has a mask on, and some people are more professional in acting

5. Also found a few people whom I like to maintain a friendship with. 

6. Found that being in solitude makes me calm.

I'm hoping that this year is going to be as interesting as last year

I don't mind the challenges or the obstacles

I'm just worried that it's gonna be a dull one.

46. What happen in the past, stays in the past...

Why would you hold on to something that actually worth nothing in the end?

7 years ago; I gave everything I had.
I am not a fool to go back to the past.
What happen in the past, stays in the past.

Even though we miss each other's affection and comfort,
We know very well that it will not work out.

Time has change both of us,
And I learn a valuable  lesson from our separation.

45. Who would have known...

You, sir.. have really made my day.

Who would have known that a mere stranger can make you day, huh?

Been feeling down the past few days, so it was really great to talk to a mere stranger for a day.
And as well getting to know that he studied in the same area just different schools.

Small world... Such a small world.

Makes me think, that I should be doing the same thing too haha,
going around giving people compliments.

Sigh.. an interesting and fascinating individual, ain't you?

39. Speechless

You made me speechless when you said that.
Totally unexpected.
Even though it hurts, the pain will slowly subside.

But sometimes i wonder, why is it always me who takes the pain?
What did I ever do to deserve it?

37. My thoughts you can't decode...

- I just want someone to hold me when I am at my lowest. -

Recently I have been thinking about everything I did in 2012.
It was like a roller coaster; up and downs non-stop.
I felt a total mix emotions of happy/sad/disappointment.

Sometimes, I just feel like throwing away everything that I have built from scratch.
Pretend that everything didn't happened
So no burn marks, no scars, no telling lies, no pushing people away.

At times I wonder,
What I would be if everything didn't happened?
Would I be happier than I am now?

P.S: Sorry about all the emo/moody posts. I'm just feeling sensitive I guess.

36. Opportunities...

When the opportunity comes, will you hesitate? Or just grab it? 

Had a talk with a close friend of mine the other day,
He was given an opportunity, but he was hesitant to grab it.
Thinking whether it was worth it.
He asked if I was the one, given the opportunity, would I be hesitant?
When he asked, it was like deja vu. I remember asking myself the same question.

I said, 
There was once I was given an opportunity.
Without hesitation, I grab it without even thinking about the consequences..
For all I know, I was happy, I really felt it.
But in the end, I walked away from it.

"Why walk away?"
Afraid and confused. 
Or maybe it was the fact that I don't deserve it.
People would say that you're stupid for giving up something you have always wanted.
But what do they know?
It was not an easy decision to make.

"Any regrets?"
No regrets.
Grateful for the experience and memories made.
If I had not taken it, I wouldn't have felt it.
Sometimes I do think that I'm stupid for walking out,
Since opportunities comes once in a blue moon.
I have come to accept that having regrets in these situations is meaningless..
Because at that moment, that opportunity
Was what I really wanted the most.

Just grab it now, because you will never know what the outcome until you experience it.
Life is unexpected and full of surprises.
Go out and explore.
You never know what will be waiting for you when you seize that opportunity.

35. Walked a thousand miles...

Eminem - Beautiful

- In my shoes, just to see

what it's like to be me

I'll be you, let's trade shoes

Just to see what it'd be like to 

Feel your pain, You feel mine

Go inside each other's minds

Just to see what we find

Look at shit through each others eyes -

I know I haven't been appreciating much with the things (and people) around me

And it kinda hurts that people tend to jump in to conclusion without hearing the other side of the story..

Do you know how excruciating it is to receive something that you know you don't deserve it..

By saying so, people will say "Why don't you keep your mouth shut and accept it?" or "Unappreciative brat"..

Well... Why don't you be in my shoes for a day,

Experience the demons of my past which made me who I am, the current me

The reason behind every act that I'm doing now.

But after experiencing it,

Do you think you will understand the significance of it?

I doubt so...

33. Insecurities...

Been having a lot insecurities lately.
And honestly I don't like it...

I've been lying to myself.
Being someone that I'm not.
Pushing away people that I need the most.

Above all,
I'm making decisions which I dunno I'll regret or not.
But I'm willing to take on the consequences.
Reason?
To be able to feel calm again..
Maybe that's the reason?
Or I might just be lying to myself again..

32. A Sincere Love...

Is nothing more than a sin...

Hello! A month just past~ how's the new year? :D

From the previous post: here's some of the photos that I've edited so far

been lazy editing my photos :( there's just so many~~

I'll really try edit all of them soon xD

Pictures will be at the end of the post~ 

my next semester is gonna start soon

my blog is gonna be abandon again 

I wonder when will I blog again once my semester starts haha

btw dad's been thinking to get a Canon DSLR, 550D

I so hope he buys it~~ :D

buying an extra lens for my GF1 is kinda expensive since I have to fork out my own savings to pay for it

but recently my hands are itchy to get a new lens for my baby :(

arrrghhhh!

oh oh! and Ipad 3 is coming out March, but I'm not really sure..

mom's gonna kill me if I say I want to buy it LOL

not only mom, my brother too haha

ohhowiwishmoneydropsfromthesky~

Pictures:

31. Tranquillity...

- Photography is like a drug that keep my emotions at peace... -

I'm back in Malaysia! :D
had a great bonding time with my dear brother~
and Congrats to him graduating from ANU
:)

:3 happy boy~

**P.S: Post without photos... cause I am still editing it; I'm becoming lifeless~~ T.T **

btw Sydney was awesome and tiring at the same time
cause we kinda walk from the central bus station to our hotel
and after settling down in our hotel, we walked AGAIN :( around the city
visited Queen Victoria Mall, it was beautiful! :)
and while we were walking to the mall, there were so many old buildings that was used as shopping complexes.
I was the happiest girl in the Sydney when I saw all those buildings but I wasn't familiar with the DSLR
and I took crappy photos.. = = like wth... ISO, aperture, brightness, etc and the people.. giving me problems.
I sad :( really feel like wanna go back and retake..
we visited Chinatown too~ so ngam we went on Friday got pasar malam~
stuff there was so cheap yet so expensive once it is converted to MYR :/

since Christmas and Boxing Day was near, everywhere was having SALE
dollar to dollar, it's so cheap T.T, can cry.. want to buy but can't, ishhhh!
Gucci, Prada, Chanel, CK, branded stuff for like 50 AUD?
that's cheap, if you dont convert it la lol
unfortunately, Beats Headphones by Dr. Drake was still too expensive to buy :(
oh! and during the time we went, the shops didn't close as early as the shops in Canberra...
could be due to Christmas :D
Inu and I walked around the city at 11pm and there's still shops open; not bad not bad xD

there's like a lot of Asians in Sydney..
everywhere i went, eat or just on the streets, they are everywhere xD
oh and there's ChaTime too! lol
every street or mall, there's a ChaTime outlet
while walking to Chinatown, I think I saw 4 - 5 outlets O_o
haha saw a Taiwanese dessert shop that looks like Snowflake too

My mind wasn't preoccupied as much as before
could be due to the tiredness of a very pack schedule we have during our stay..
Inu kept bringing me out sight seeing, haha like a small kid~
and doing something I like, kinda calm me down
thanks to Inu's DSLR, the distraction that I really need at that moment...

I still second guess myself about my decisions even after I calmed down..
but you know what? screw it!
I'm young though2012iscomingandwearescrewed, I make mistakes
I learn or dont from my past mistakes
but that's just life I guess, I'm not perfect
I'm sure itlltakeahellofalongtimeformetorecover but...
I'm tired of thinking already... not my style
I feel I became older thinking so much, not good! LOL

30. Greetings from Canberra, Australia

Yup.. I'm currently in Canberra, Australia spending time with my brother here after his graduation in ANU. The scenery and the environment here is great just that the shopping mall closes at 5 or 6pm, Aussie time. :/ super early wehhhh~~ no night life :/

And I'm not used to the weather here :( making me inactive due to the cold weather T.T I should be hibernating xD
And I gained back the weight that I loss during my exam period! Damn! Food here is just so damn awesome :( can't stop munching @.@ oh and I kinda think I got tan due to the sunburn T.T imagine im going sydney on the 23rd and it's gonna be blazing hot there..:/ sigh~ go back must "bai" (fair) back weh~ after my Inu don't want me xD haha

My mind has been occupied these past few days.. with stuff questioning about my decisions.. Since there is no distractions here * yes, I tend to avoid stuffs that don't wanna think about*, it somehow forced me to think about it.. And it sucks like literally..

I'm not a person who thinks so much about a situation or about anything.. I go with the flow... So now I'm thinking.. Why am I so worked up about it? Why don't I just go with the flow of the situation and solve it along the way..? Easy right? But somehow it's not..

Maybe cause my decisions that I choose now, might affect me.. Choosing the wrong decision, shows that I didn't learn my mistakes in the past.. It'll be just the same. Hmmm...
The temptation.. To do wrong feel so right at times..

Is it worth it?
You tell me..
Because I'm lost in my thoughts..

29. Mirror on the Wall...

 - Here we are Again... -

Wow, I'm blogging twice in the same day xD

today's study plan fail miserably :x
i BLAME it on the weather! so nice to sleeeep~~ lol

oh and I cut my hair today, have my high school look again = =ll
was torn between cutting my fringe straight or my original style
end up cutting back the same style
I'm afraid later cut straight look weird :/ maybe after finals I'll chop it straight xD

been neglecting my camera for months
its like staring at me and somehow saying "Why you touch me ady?!"
well... something like that haha
should be getting my hands on it, so I can post some awesome pictures here
instead of using my phone camera all the time. haha

by the way when I was cleaning my picture folders
i found some old photos of Inu
haha funny little boy :)

doesn't look like an emo picture = =

cute? xD

he always bears my ridiculous acts and requests
so sweet kan? :)

oh and pictures of the SUBS annual dinner that my classmates and I attended :)
had fun but the food was kinda :(

 head to Euphoria, MOS after the dinner

group picture of the attendees~

the only missing fella in here is Nicholas 

xD

I also found some photos that I took and think its quite nice *cheh perasan ni*

gonna post 2 only, too many shots and I only find this two kinda nice? :D

 took this from Awana, Genting 

took this from the Korean Town trip *I don't remember the place T.T*

organize by the Korean Club :)

sigh~ the memories... :)

btw I should really be studying now... but I don't want to~~ T.T

before I regret it.. I think I'm just gonna face my textbooks now

can't afford not doing well again this semester :/

byee!

28. This Time I really mean it...

- That I'll always be there for You -

Sorry for MIA-ing again for another 4 months, after saying that I'll blog frequently :x
semester 3 is harder than sem 2 @.@
feels like I am facing my textbooks everyday xD
and ya.. I'm just super lazy to blog :(

Well my finals are on December 6 and its like so soon!
T_________________T
Die Die Die Die :/

but interestingly this semester turn out to be not that bad after all
some good and bad stuff happened
and well.. it made me realize something
******************************... -censored-
xD I am so not gonna type it here :)

as well a lot stuffs happen this month
like seriously... some of them were entertaining, some not

Sometimes I wonder, how long am I gonna be chained down by what had happened?
Even though, I'm moving forward, the memory and scars still burns in my mind.
wuuushhhhh~~~ Well.. nothing I can do about it OR its not the right time yet I guess
little baby steps is what I need, haha :)

GAH! I'm talking crap here lol
btw no pictures for this post~ kinda lazy xD
and I need sleep! :D
bye!

Back!

Hello! Finally stop MIA-ing here haha
Second semester really took up alot of my time and it's finally ended :)
Third semester is going to start soon, August 22
It's gonna be another busy semester :(

So I have a month and a week of holidays
And sadly I didn't went out much haha
Out of cash, maybe? Lol
But i went to Awana Kijau, Terengganu with the family and inu join too :)
Will blog about that later haha

I'm kinda lazy to recap hat happen during the past months so I'm not gonna blog about it xD haha
And I am using BlogPost App from the iPhone :)
Kinda useful I think haha only I just can't post videos lol
Nothing must to write now, so I'll stop here :)

Byee!!

Photo of the current me hehe xD **korean-look-a -like specs rules! Hehe

25. Dreams...

If it was only real...

daddy recently got back from his China golf trip at Guanzhou and he brought back some presents too :)
surprisingly he has good taste in choosing handbags, hahaha
he got mommy and I both a handbags each and it was super nice! :D
love him to bits! ^^

 pretty white handbag
the size is just nice to put in my mini notebook :)

then he also bought those mini compact mirrors from Guanzhou

haha can you believe it, it is only RM 12 when converted @.@
it is so much cheaper, and when compared to those mirrors in Pyramid.. they are getting a 100% return in profit.. they are exploitation the price...

 i think that is the company label, Yooi-Fly

white, pink and light blue fake crystals xD

but it is pretty sweet design isn't it? :)

I am glad he had a nice time there even though he had to run here run there, changing golf courses lol

and thanks for the present too dad :) ♥

19. Outcast...

just because I am different, does not mean I am weird...

couldn't find the time to blog these days and

sometimes I am just plain lazy or when there is like tons of assignments to do

and sorry bout the emo post back there xD
I had to flushed out my thoughts
and I could not believe that I, myself who wrote that post, laugh at it.. wtheck.. i feel like a fool lol..

well my 1st semester is gonna end soon
final exam on the 7th of March, just can't wait for the 3 weeks break even though I will die of boredom lol
finally can catch up with a few movies that i really want to watch
Burlesque, I am Number 4, Beastly, Black Swan etc etc..
can't wait can't wait~ :)

and my blog is like half DEAD,
gonna revive it when semester break starts haha

so i just want to post a short update
seems like I miss a few things last month xD

saw lion dance in pyramid during CNY

lady luck was with me during a gambling session in hueyling's house :)

and i saw this for the first time in my life! xD
picture taken in Desa Park City

took a very sweet photo of Ben and Brandy ♥ :)

oh! and Valentine's Day~
my Inu bought a bouquet of flowers for me
i was like @.@!! cause I am like allergic to flowers
but it was still so sweet of him to get me 1 lol
and that day it was just as special as any other day with him ♥ hehe
Inu brought me to The Ship for dinner, it was packed but luckily we came early :D
it was my first time there, and the food was just average with a bomb shell price!
Restaurants are exploiting this day weh.. =.=ll
still thanks Inu for the such a sweet day =3

playing with the menu~

peace~ lol

was not looking too good that day xD

gotta go study my ass off now T.T

13. These Scarlet Skies...

these Scarlet skies brought feelings that even words cant describe

went uni today at 1pm and went for the workshop at 2pm
it was 3 hours! o.O!! omgosh 2pm to 5pm
crazy~ almost fell asleep *bangs head to wall*
luckily went home at 4 cause Meikuan had a dental appointment, phew~
and I don't know why but I'm feeling so sleepy this few days... Hmmm..
the workshop was okay, I like the first speaker, she like read my mind through the entire thing xD hahaha
mingjo said not much people attended in the morning
at least more people attend the workshop she said haha

tomorrow gotta be there at 10am
hmm and there would be another workshop too
T.T so it's gonna be 10am to 5pm, it's a long day... =/
damn sad... I might need my Coffee again :)

oh ya, got the pictures on the first day of uni~

we very kawaii o?
xD omgosh damn lala hahaha~

so btw, i haven't really wrote what's my new year's resolution this year; 2011
last year.. ermm... =/ didn't really work cause i forgotten almost half of it lol
so this year New year resolutions are:

1. spend more time with the love ones ♥
2. good grades for degree in university
3. be more active in university
   
4. stop procrastinating
5. get an adapter for my GF1
6. Improved Photography skills
7. improved/change some bad personalities
8. go to church more
9. clean my room more frequently
10. change wardrobe to be more "girly"
11. save money

didn't wanted to post some personal stuff here
so it's just a very general list :)
no.9 gotta do it, Inu not gonna visit me anymore since we'll be busy so... yea he was the reason why i even cleaned my room xD but it's a good habit to do so :) my room is definitely much more better compared to when I was in high school haha
and no.10 hmmm... mum said my wardrobe is too "boyish" too many t-shirts maybe
so this year it must be filled with dresses, skirts and everything in floral-ly, lacey, pinkish
argghhh for pete's sake it's so not me.. being a girl is so hard sometimes =/
wait.. scratch that, no pink lol or at least not much pink clothes, not really a fan of it lol

haha simple yet hard to commit and really do it
so I hope this year I met every single 1 of it
including the ones not on the list there :)

signing off now, gotta be early at uni
byee!

12. A new Journey...

Life is indeed beautiful, is it not?

hello~

sorry for being MIA for these past few days :)
had so many outings until i couldn't find time to blog haha

so back to the post, I've started university already!
*jumps like a crazy girl*
and there's gonna be a lot of pressure coming soon =/
me no likey (T.T)
had orientation today, it was boring, all the same usual stuff
going to skip the library tour tomorrow and only go at 1pm xD
i only want to attend the workshop haha

btw might be joining the Student Council this year
Photography and Community Services :)
at least I'm doing something different this year xD
going to join some sports club too but there's so many to choose from
Badminton, Bowling, Dance, etc... all so tempting (@.@)

took some pictures today too, but it's all in Caiyun's camera
will post it up once i got them :)

owh, i'm gonna update about some recent outings too
1st up will be the outing with the girls and adam at desa park city
brought them there cause they never been there before
made a lot of noise and ter-disturbed the romantic feeling for the couples
xD Inu joined us later and he said he can hear us laughing all the way from the front
took quite a lot of photos, but not gonna upload all, after my blog only flooded by pictures lol
pictures:

the shrek pose xD

the hyper bunch of people~ ♥

2nd is the karaoke and dinner gathering with the college mates at sunway pyramid
in the afternoon had a karaoke session with gloria, mingjo, meikuan, caiyun and stephanie
it was a super belated mini birthday party for Stephanie :D later eugene and admas joined us for awhile.
later after karaoke, went for the dinner at Shogun with our favorite lecturer, Keith! :)
the most awesome lecturer ever~ xD
and as what i expected, the food was just okok only, nothing special
it was rm 50+, didn't ate much but thank God, no food poisoning :)
and do you know that the government tax now has increase to 6% (o.o)
after the next few years it's gonna be 10%! :(
btw we also celebrated a belated birthday for rock chan and mei ling, 19th already! so fast
but rock chan went home early, so only mei ling blew the candles
haha overall it was an awesome outing
had a great time with the college mates and with Keith :)
pictures for both of the outings:

karaoke for steph super belated birthday~

gathering with the college mates
and a belated party for rock chan and meiling :)

that's all i think tomorrow i'm gonna update a resolution for the year 2011 :)
well signing off now
byee! *I'll end the post with a picture of Inu and I~*

:) ♥